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leo atobe

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collateral beauty [Jan. 12th, 2017|01:56 am]
leo atobe
[Current Location |my room hihi]
[Current Mood |contemplativecontemplative]
[Current Music |CNBlue (because was just watching Cinderella and 4knights))]

Hello to the New Year :)
I miss writing here.
and because I watched Collateral Beauty

Dear Time,
  I am sorry.  I have been complaining that there wasn't much but these past few years I've wasted so much of your gift.  But then again I am very thankful to you and God.  You have given me something precious.  Time to heal.

Dear Death,
  Yes.  I am afraid of you. but not for myself...

Dear Love,
  Romantic Love, Where are you?

  Sometimes I wish I could do more for friends.  I feel like telling them I'm here for you is not enough.  It chokes me to come up short with being there and just a hug.  They say it's enough, but in the end they're still hurt.
If only I can solve your problem.  If only I can speed up time and heal your wound.  If only I can have more money to lend you.  If only I can get the one you love for you.  If only I can get back the one you lost.  If only I can stop time for you.  If only I can heal you.  If I can turn back time for you.  If only I can... If only I can... I would.
 Hoping this year I can do more for you. :)
 Because you all have done a lot for me. Thank you. :)
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Beautiful Friend [Apr. 6th, 2016|11:48 pm]
leo atobe
[Current Location |somewhere in Makai]
[Current Mood |thankfulthankful]
[Current Music |Beast - Will be Alright]

On Friendships Part 2
Waking up to an arrival of an expected visit from an expected friend is one of the most beautiful thing in the world.

Dear Old Old (not of age) very good friend,

I don't know if you will ever get to read this, but here goes...
Dear friend, throughout the years, I don't know if I ever have thanked you for our friendship, but those 2 words does not seem to be enough on how much greatful I am to what you are to me.  I always believed that I am blessed. Having my parents and you in my life.  You have always been there for me for unexpected reasons and unexpected days and most of all when times really do count.
Sometimes, even when those days that I'm suppose to be there for you, it is you who is still there for me.
I remember when you son passed away, I went there for you... I didn't know what to say to be there for you... but when I got to talk you... you were even concerned on how I was...on how I was getting on with my asthma.  I honestly was choking and holding back on tears becase I was suppose to be there for you not the other way around.  You are an amazing person.  You are an amazing daughter, amazing wife, amazing mother and an amazing friend.

We really don't see each other a lot but we always do say to each other we don't need that.  We don't always talk to each other a lot, but ... I remember you once said...  Two friends sitting down together in silence, no words passed, but if felt like a whole conversation went on.  That's us.

I am very happy for you that you have found your Hiei, your Quatre and now you have cute little Wufis running around.  Having your family here recently was really fun and soulfully good hehe.
Thank you for bringing Kurama to me :D

My dear dear S,

How have you been? It's been years huh?  But you know that even when I just recently saw you... I still miss you.

~ R.

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On Infinte Woohyun and Frienships [Apr. 5th, 2016|01:04 pm]
leo atobe
[Current Location |somewhere in my room~~]
[Current Mood |sadsad]
[Current Music |ToHeart - Tell me Why]

Friendships PART1
I recenly bought 2 Infinite Nam Woohyun Photobooks.  I just usually keep 1 fansite photobook, but this time I bought 2 because one is for keeps and I was planning on to give the other one to a friend who is leaving.  Letting go of Woohyun as well because I am recently into Sungkyu~~ :D  Apparently that friend flew away and never looked back.
So it looks like I will keep Nam Woohyun in my already croweded heart
...and will let go of that friend.

Specially that recently I just saw someone, an older look a like of woohyun and as cheesy. hahahaha
Plus the fact that my mom recently asked about that friend...  I told my mom that she already left, and my said that since she left without even bothering to say goodbye to you my mom suggested to just let her go and no invite her to our house in the future.  I told my mom that she's not going here anymore because she's in another country hahahaha.

When we had a fall out on our friendship before, I used to wonder why she used to ignore texts, others messages and bithday invitations... but I was really happy to see her again specially that we like the same kpop group. I usually pray to God and ask why the fall out with some friends.  But now that she's left for the 2nd time around looks like I don't need wonder anymore.   This time, I thank God that she's left now.

Deep down inside I would have preferred to have let go of Woohyun and keep the friendship.  (Not only because of Sungkyu hahahahaha)

I am writing this because I am obviously upset over the matter.  I hate letting frienships go, but I think I should let this one go... Friendships do come and go.  I am already in my mid-30's.. and I will admit it still hurts.  I keep a small circle of friends, and letting one of them go is really hard (thus this looooong post).

She said that the reason why she was upset with me is because she always compromises for me.  For that I am sorry, I actually didn't realize I was doing that.  I am also thankful that she made the effort to compromise for me... but sad to the point that she's already upset at me.  My take home for this is that I will be cautious with my other friends :)

She also said that I shouldn't make a big deal out of things... but I guess it's a big deal, now it is for me.  But after this... I'm hoping it will be a smaller deal for me? hahahahaha

We've had a a lot of good memories together.  Letting go of the friendship for now, not of those good memories :D

So... here's to letting go.  Wishing her the best in her new life in the new country.  But it looksl ike she's doing good. so that's nice.  Thanks for making me value my other friends.  Best of all Woohyun hahahahahaha
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start of the year [Dec. 5th, 2013|12:49 am]
leo atobe
[Tags|, , ]
[Current Location |my messy room]
[Current Mood |hungryhungry]
[Current Music |arashi - love so sweet]

Sakurai San,

I'd like to say that I never forgot your birthday.
I only forgot to post it here hehe.
Not that you matter.
You're just an excuse for me to eat this yummy cake

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before the year ends... [Dec. 5th, 2013|12:33 am]
leo atobe
[Current Location |my messy room]
[Current Mood |thankfulthankful]
[Current Music |EXO-Miracles in December]

before the year ends...
i'd like to write here.

i just wrote something very emotional and so not like me,
i had some doubts to post it
but when i did publish it, livejournal decided to erase it.
I guess it was never meant to be published.

the bottom line of that post,
I am very Thankful to God for helping me out last year
I am thankful to my parents who have been there every step of the way
who saw me cry, and dealt with it.
I am thankful to my friends who were there for me,
I know they were not used to the stressed, sad me last year but ... were still there.
I am thankful for jpop and kpop they made me laugh and forget my problems.

I am still doubting if I made the right decision
but I do believe, that every decision I make is always the right decision.
No regrets.
I don't know If I came out a better person,
but I do know I am alive.

When I go to church, I am thankful that I no longer pray
Dear God, please help me get through this
but I pray Dear God, I am thankful that I got through that.

Now i breath a sigh no relief, not a sigh of helplessness.
I have learned my lesson. a very good lesson.
Thank you, Dear God.

I am not always open about my religion and my faith.
I do have it, I just don't speak about it.
But just this once (I hope it's not the end)...

I know there will be more problems to come,
but I pray that You will help me get through it :)
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happy birthday sho :p [Jan. 30th, 2012|03:43 pm]
leo atobe
[Tags|, , ]
[Current Location |downstair's den... turned into tv room / mom and dad's room ]
[Current Mood |awakei should really sleep!! huhuhu]
[Current Music |ze:a watch out!]

oh well celebrated sho sakura's bday last Jan. 25, 2012 :)
just an excuse to eat my favorite cake!

chocolate cake with white marshmallow icing! :)

and yay! i'm glad i was able to order the beautiful world uchiwa!
after having a hard time ordering for this last year! huhu.

p.s. i don't have a crush on sho sakurai hahahaha :)
p.p.s. the ohno satoshi is a gift for a friend :)

i need to sleep!!! huhu
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find you inner chara-type [Jan. 5th, 2012|03:37 am]
leo atobe
[Current Location |still in my room huhu]
[Current Mood |hungryreally hungry but must sleep!]
[Current Music |trouble maker - trouble maker]

bwahahaha my birthday:  August 8
and i must say.. i'm glad i'm not MOE hahahaha :p

so i'm an ouji/oujou type?!?!? hmmmm
sigh.. incredibly rich?!... if only i could buy the things i want...
bwahahhahahaha :p - my own fan club?! hahahaha i'm not an idol

megane-kun!!! it's sooooo you! intelligent keio boy!
so he's a bishounen! ~ his smile makes me tingle tingle hahaha

*got it from http://thelittleone.dreamwidth.org/
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